Sleigh Bells

Sleigh Bells - Crown On The Ground

This is a song from the emerging Brooklyn dance-pop duo Sleigh Bells. With so much mellow, lo-fi dance-y stuff (Washed Out, Neon Indian) lulling everybody to sleep these days, it's refreshing to hear something that goes in the opposite direction. "Crown On the Ground" is a blown-out banger so loaded up with distortion that its neck-snapping hooks transform the dance floor into a mosh pit. Producer Derek Miller used to be in Poison The Well, which helps explain how hardcore this is. All the idiots combining post-emo and dance music should pay attention to how its done. I'm making it sound more metal than it actually is, but don't read to much into it; this is definitely meant for the hips and not the fists.

"Marge, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to give your pork chops my lowest rating ever: seven thumbs up."

-Homer Simpson

(What I mean is this song gets seven thumbs up)

Sleigh Bells Myspace

Music & Sports

October is the best time to be a sports fan. The World Series, the beginning of the basketball season, the middle of the football season, hockey might start, I don't know, I'm not Canadian. This is an especially good October for sports in New York (unless you're a M/Jets fan): The Yankees are in the World Series, the Giants are excellent, the Knicks are only one season away from getting LeBron. To celebrate, I made a short mix of songs about sports. The best part is, you don't even have to like sports to like these songs.

Donwnload songs here

1. Belle & Sebastian - Piazza, New York Catcher - buy

(Baseball-as-gay-relationship metaphor = brilliance)

2. Lil' Wayne - Kobe Bryant

(The "Best Rapper Alive" pays tribute to the best basketball player alive [arguably])

3. The Mountain Goats - Fall of the Star High School Running Back - buy

(A lot of athletes are only an injury and a bad decision away from oblivion)

4. Sun Kil Moon - Duk Koo Kim - buy

(Duk Koo Kim was a boxer who died from injuries sustained in the ring)

5. Warren Zevon - Hit Somebody (The Hockey Song) - buy

(Who gives a shit about hockey? David Letterman, maybe, who appears in the background of this song)

"Go, my favorite sports team, go!"

-Brian Regan

"The sports team from my area is superior to the sports team from your area"

-Onion t-shirt

Lightning Bolt - Earthly Delights

(This review originally appeared in The New School Free Press)

Providence noise duo Lightning Bolt make their long-awaited return with Earthly Delights, their first album since 2005. They have spent the intervening years playing with Bjork (drummer Brian Chippendale), dating Kurt Vonnegut’s niece (bassist Brian Gibson), and workshopping new songs in their notorious live show, which turns shy, skinny hipsters into bloodthirsty savages. They’re like Slayer for RISD industrial design students. Lightning Bolt seems to have embraced the metallic undercurrent in their music, as Earthly Delights is their most metal album yet. The songs are longer and heavier, taking time build organically, like on standout track “Colossus,” which starts with a sludgy bass riff and ominous drumbeat, gets kind of spaced-out in the middle, then wakes up and sprints to the finish. Bassist Gibson can shred like Eddie Van Halen, but here at times adopts a style closer to Black Sabbath’s Tony Iommi, slow and syrupy. However, he still frequently unleashes his patented confusing blasts of dexterity that redefine what a bass can sound like. Chippendale is one of the most distinctive drummers around, playing like he’s winning at the world’s most difficult game of Whack-A-Mole. His snare drum is like brain popcorn, and his bass drum is too fast and too complicated to only be played by one person. Plus, he’s still chirping indecipherably through his custom-made microphone masks, one of Lightning Bolt’s many eccentricities. All of this is more fun than it probably sounds. Lightning Bolt may provoke violence, but their music is as inviting as noise rock gets. You may get pummeled, but in the friendliest possible way.

Lightning Bolt - Colossus (Mediafire) - buy

This Is A Post About Stuff White People Like

You all are familiar with Stuff White People Like. You frequently identify with it, you disagree with it other times, you think it's hilarious. And it is. I'm not blazing any new trails here, I'm just going to make a list of things on the list that I like too. Like you care. Boooooring. Whatever. I'm not even going to link to them individually. If you want to see what they are, find them yourself.

I am a White Person, and I like this Stuff:

#1
#3
#4
#8
#13
#26
#35
#38-47
#49
#50
#53
#60
#63
#64
#67-70
#73
#82-85
#90
#93
#94
#99
#103-107
#109
#113 (though I'm always disappointed by it)
#119
#124

These are things that I love. There are other things on this list that I certainly like, and others that I'm certainly not opposed to, and others that I am opposed to, but mostly just to be a contrarian dick. Ultimately, though, I have an opinion on everything here, just like all y'all honkies do. That's why the satire here is so good. Humor analysis!

Wow, what a shitty post. I'm still gonna post it.

Here's a bonus track for wasting your time with me. It's what came to mind when I thought of the whitest music (for the right kind of white people. Don't try to talk to me about irrelevant things like Puddle of Mudd or something [wow, cranky?]):

The National - Mistaken for Strangers - buy
(Mediafire)

Why don't you leave a comment about what you identify with? Maybe that will give some purpose to this post.

Butt Odor?

Butt Odor.

Cleanse your butt with this:

Burial & Four Tet - Moth

Moody, head-bobbing house/dubstep collaborations are perfect for yo' stank ass.

Bullet Points

I haven't posted anything in a while. It's because I'm breaking up with this blog. This is me reading my breakup letter to it (If you don't click that link, it's your own goddamn fault you're so miserable all the goddamn time. I'm doing what I can to make you feel better, but at some point you have to take responsibility for yourself). It's just not working out between me and this blog anymore. We just stare at each other over breakfast, not saying anything, feeling trapped and uncomfortable. When we do talk, it's just to bicker and undermine each other. I feel like half a person when I'm with this blog.

Just kidding. I'm not breaking up with my blog. We're meant to be together. This is the song we sing to each other:

Angelo Badalamenti & David Lynch - Just You - buy

This song is from "Twin Peaks." Do you watch "Twin Peaks?" You should. It may be the best TV show there ever was. It also may have the longest opening credit sequence there ever was.



Speaking of great TV shows, have you watched "NYC Prep?" I watched one episode because the recaps on Gawker and Videogum are achingly hilarious. I haven't watched any more episodes, but I still read the recaps. Does that make me pathetic?

If you're in New York sometime before August 15th, go see this show (art). It's a surreal, disorienting, live-action collage.

If you're in New York next Sunday, go to this show (music). It has the potential to be the show of our young century. It won't be, but it could be. It's free, at least. Well, a minimum of $4.50 for subway fare, unless you live right around there, in which case, DIE HIPSTER SCUM or whatever. Seriously, though, all three of these bands are great and I can't wait to see how this will unfold.

Thursday I went to a reading by one of my favorite pop culture writers, Nathan Rabin of the Onion AV Club. If you are unfamiliar with his work, I suggest you start here and then read through entire the My Year of Flops archives, because you will laugh, cry, and get an excellent education in cinema and failure. His just-released memoir, The Big Rewind, is brave and hilarious and uses profanity in new and exciting ways. He signed my book "Hey Liam, tell your cat I say hi. Nathan Rabin." I meet one of my favorite writers, and we talk about my cat. Like I said: pathetic.

I bought a book called On Michael Jackson by Margo Jefferson today. I'm looking forward to reading it. Like my copy of The Big Rewind, it's signed by the author. It says, "To Jocelyn - A former student I'm delighted to see again - All best (sic), Margo 2/06." It cost ten dollars. I feel like that was a good price to pay. I also bought a Joan Didion book I'd been wanting for a long time. It's out of print, but I found it today at Barner Books in New Paltz. It cost four dollars. I had good book luck today. I also bought a Prince single. This is the A-side. It might be my favorite Prince song.

Prince - If I Was Your Girlfriend - buy

Want to know how to make Andy Rooney's absurd rants on "60 Minutes" even funnier? Why, add curse words, of course!
http://twitter.com/blueandyrooney
The Original Hater just got hatier.

That's a lot of information to take in with not a lot of context. Posts that are actually about things are coming in the near future. Keep you eyes peeled like hard-boiled eggs. Mmm.

Something I'm Excited About: Atlas Sound

According to Pitchfork, Bradford Cox, of 1979 Classic Film About the Human Tolls of Vietnam Starring Robert DeNiro, Meryl Streep, and Christopher Walken, is releasing another album as Atlas Sound, Logos, on October 20th, the followup to last year's Let the Blind Those Who See But Cannot Feel. In the interview, Mr. Cox describes the album as more worldly, which will be a welcome change from his previous album's sometimes oppressive insularity. It will also feature guest spots from members of Stereolab and, most notably, Panda Bear of Animal Collective and Panda Bear Crew. You may think, "wow, I wonder what an Atlas Sound/Panda Bear collaboration will sound like! Do I really have to wait until October to find out?" Well, cherished reader, your impatience will be rewarded. And this song is even better than you imagine. Its official title is "Walkabout," but I downloaded it from GvB as "Dovers Jam," which is what I will always think of it as. That was its title then, I guess. The Dovers of the title were a 60s garage band, and "Walkabout" samples their song "What Am I Going To Do?" This was recorded live at some place called the Drunken Unicorn on New Year's Eve, and I love it. It's among the best non-Deerhunter songs Cox has written.

Atlas Sound - Dovers Jam (Walkabout) - buy an Atlas Sound album

The Dovers - What Am I Going To Do? - buy