Aural Sandpaper #1

The Jesus Lizard - “Boilermaker”

There is a lot of music out there, and most of it serves a purpose: to make the listener happy, to make the listener sad, for dancing, for meditation, to try and get someone to sleep with you, etc. Most of it wants to be liked. It is designed to entice the audience with a catchy hook or a relatable lyric, and for most people this is enough. The average, sensible person wants music that is pleasant to listen to, easy to like even if it’s thematically difficult (Steely Dan, for example. So smooth, but so fucked up). But what about those people who don’t want to hear or play something nice? Those people who are more interested in being provoked, challenged, or repelled? Those who see the world as an ugly place, but still find value in the ugliness? Yes, there is music for them, too. It can be found in dark corners, dank do-it-yourself venues, and Japan. It’s loud, nasty, often druggy, sometimes violent, disgusted and disgusting. It’s also sometimes as beautiful and transcendent as “Rhapsody in Blue” or whatever. No matter what it is, once you hear it, it’s hard to forget, whether you like it or not. If this doesn't sound appealing, that's ok. U2 has a new album out. Go listen to that. But if it does, then put on your rattiest t-shirt, crank up the volume, and enroll in art school (other than Parsons), because things are about to get ugly.

Since I don’t want to let things escalate too quickly, I’ll be starting off with a relatively accessible track, the Jesus Lizard’s “Boilermaker.” Founded in 1987, the Jesus Lizard was a flagship band in the fertile Chicago noise rock scene of the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. They released six albums before breaking up in 1999, and a reunited lineup will be touring this year. Several of their albums were produced by Steve Albini, possibly the most important figure in abrasive music of the past twenty-five years, who will be covered here at a later date. “Boilermaker” is the first track on their third album, 1992’s Liar.

When I say this song is “relatively accessible,” I mean it’s accessible relative to one’s tolerance for feedback or screaming. While “Boilermaker” may be more appealing to a rock radio listener than, say, the droning, doomy metal of Sunn O))), it is still definitely not for the faint of heart. It is aggressively fast-paced and follows a verse-chorus-verse structure, which puts it in line with hardcore punk. Guitarist Duane Denison’s guitar sound and style of play are reminiscent of grunge, very loud and overdriven but still clear, similar to Kurt Cobain’s on Nirvana’s In Utero, which was also produced by Steve Albini. However, what separates “Boilermaker” from any other punk or grunge song is vocalist David Yow. On “Boilermaker” and most other Jesus Lizard songs, he sounds like a man driven mad by rage, a crazed drunken redneck who would not hesitate to smash heads with whatever he has handy. He doesn’t sing so much as he rants, his words coming out in a breathless tangle. The melody is secondary to Yow making his rhythms as blunt as possible. He sounds totally untrained, which makes his delivery come across as wild-eyed and out of control. His vocals are buried low in the mix, which only makes them more menacing. You may not be able to understand what he’s saying, but you know it isn’t good. A look at the lyric sheet shows that the song appears to be about a man getting drunk before he busts in on his girlfriend and her lover. “I’ve calmed down, but I’m shaking,” he growls at the beginning, just before the chorus, “make me another boilermaker.” A boilermaker is a shot chased by a beer, a no-nonsense drink sure to get you drunk. Yow spits the chorus so venomously that the listener feels the implied beatdown coming before it ever does. You’re shaking? No, Mr. Yow, I am.

Of course, Yow’s menace would go nowhere if not supported by the rhythm section’s precision and intensity. They stop on a dime and start back up again just as quickly. The thrashing power chords hit with the force of a hammer. Every time I listen to this song, the phrase “blunt force trauma” comes to mind. The drums, bass and guitar each slam the listener individually, and then collectively slam even harder. The music matches the violence of the lyrics perfectly.

“Boilermaker” is exemplary of the frantic intensity of the Jesus Lizard. They are one of the few bands that genuinely makes the listener fear for his or her safety.

Jeff Mangum Returns!

PSYCH!!!!



LICORICE!!!!

And here's an MP3 so you can listen to it on your iPod while you walk to class!

87Hizzetfield - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

Today is cover day! I have work to do, but this is way more important! Being alive is so magical!

(via Videogum)

Oh man oh man oh man

Bjork and Dirty Projectors will be playing a show together May 8th to raise money for Housing Works. Decider has the details. This has the potential to be the greatest concert since maybe the beginning of time. Mozart is rolling over in his grave like "Shit! Why didn't I think of that?" Imagining Bjork's voice entwining with the Dirty Projectors' is making me salivate. A future classic band at the top of their game teaming up with one of the greatest artists in any field of the past twenty years or so? Playing a suite written by Dave Longstreth? I think I'm going to set up a PayPal account so y'all can give me money to buy a $300 ticket so I can report back to you. It's my journalistic duty! Brandon Stosuy is bomb as fuck.

Bjork and Dirty Projectors together may sound something like this:

Dirty Projectors-Hyperballad

I shouldn't post this, as this will only make us excited for something will we not get to experience. Let's just hope they do an album together. Drool.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE AND HILARIOUS

NOBEL PRIZES IN ADVERTISING FOR EVERYBODY



(via Buzzfeed)

Breathing Shark/Prince - Purple Soundz

I made a collage of Prince songs. It's a tribute to one of my favorite artists, and an examination of some of the different things he's capable of. It's Deconstruction, y'all! Mostly, though, it's somewhat amusing, if I do say so myself. Girl Talk watch your back!



Breathing Shark/Prince - Purple Soundz

Breathing Shark On the Radio

I've been home for the past week, so I've been driving a lot. When I'm driving, I usually listen to my iPod, but, painfully, it has been broken for about two months and I didn't even realize until a few days ago because I'm a big fucking asshole. So, instead, I've been listening to the radio, flipping back and forth between the two pop stations. At first I was not happy about this, but I got into it pretty quickly. There's some good stuff on the radio that I didn't know about, y'all! But I do now. And now I'm going to tell you what's good and what's bad, and you know I'm right because I'm a doctor. Of ROCK! (files via Mediafire)

Lady GaGa - Poker Face

I don't know much about Lady GaGa. I'd heard of her, but I didn't know this was her until after I'd heard it a couple of times. I don't think I want to know much more about Lady GaGa, because I have a feeling that any further information or music would be nowhere near as awesome as this song. It's a masterful update of sleek 80s electropop, with its vintage synths and Ms. GaGa's detached diva cool. It has about sixteen different hooks, and each one is catchier than the last. By the time it gets to the almost-rapped bridge, you're ready for it to be over so you can play it again. The lyrics have some clever gambling-based innuendo, and Jesus Christ every second of this song is the catchiest part. I can't get over it. My analytical faculties are being incapacitated by how much I'm enjoying this song.

Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You

Some might criticize Kelly Clarkson for shamelessly trying to replicate the success of "Since U Been Gone" with this song, and they would have a point. But, really, "Since U Been Gone" was the huge hit that almost everyone agreed was great in 2005. Why not try to do that again? While not of quite the same caliber, "My Life Would Suck Without You" is a worthy sequel to "Since U Been Gone," the forgiving make-up after the angry break-up. It hits the same pop-rock pleasure zones. Its big, slick guitars are refreshing to hear when they come on in the middle of a radio block after a deluge of indistinguishable electro crooners, as is Clarkson's seeming authenticity. She seems like one of the few genuinely human pop stars currently active, and not some record company automaton or masturbatory fantasy girl.

Busta Rhymes feat. Ron Browz - Arab Money

Before I heard this song, I thought it was by Souljah Boy's friend or whatever whose name is "Arab" (pronounced the redneck way), and about how he gets money and puts it away in safe investments so he has something to fall back on when he retires. Fortunately, I was wrong like a doo-doo head dummy (YA TRICK YA!). It's actually by Busta Rhymes and pretty funny. I'm not entirely sure why Busta Rhymes would release such a politically questionable song, but I give him a lot of credit for finding a new way to brag about how rich he is. To my knowledge, no rapper has ever compared himself to an oil sheik, but why not? They're wealthy dudes. It's clever, too, with lyrics about gambling with Arafat and making you bow down and make Salaat. I'm not sure how in on their own joke these performers are; maybe it's not clever at all and just stupid. In any case, it's always good to hear Busta Rhymes' careening, beat-devouring flow.

The best song is still "Single Ladies"




Metro Station - "Shake It"

The worst song is this piece of shit. Everything about it is horrible pandering, bandwagon-jumping idiocy. Like Katy Perry, Metro Station is trying to tap into the current electropop trend while still trying to appeal to the Warped Tour crowd. Unlike Katy Perry, Metro Station is fucking terrible. This song is too calculated, too overproduced, and too sleazy while not being sleazy enough. I mean, if you're going to be sleazy, at least be charming about it. This is just dumb. It's not dumb in a good way, like Katy Perry, and not even dumb in a so-bad-it's-good way. It's just dumb in a dumb-people-playing-a-lazy-pandering-mall-pop-song way. Seriously, these Metro Station guys are stupid. They were not trying too hard to write the mindless chorus of "shake shake, shake shake a-shake it," but even if they had tried really really hard, like, really put their black hearts and empty souls into it, dude, they couldn't have come up with something much better. Besides, Miley Cyrus' brother is one of the creepiest people I've ever seen.

By the way, I would have written about Katy Perry's "Hot 'N Cold" if it had played while I was listening. It's pretty much my favorite song, but I have to follow my own guidelines, which is stuff I heard on the radio this week. Sorry, Katy. You know I love you.

Worst Rapper Ever

OK, so I guess this has been around for awhile, but I just saw it, and I know you haven't, so here you go. This is a freestyle battle between one bad rapper and one dude who has cerebral palsy, maybe? It's hilarious, but it's also very sad. You'll feel bad about laughing at it, but you and I both know you're a terrible person, so just embrace it. Besides, this kid is the best. He said so. A bunch of times.





Best line about Rosie O'Donnell since "she wears underwear with dickholes in 'em."