Tuesday, May 5, 2009

In the words of a drunk zombie, "I'm vomiting blood"

You're not even going to believe how terrible this is. Scapegoat, I guess this band is called. The song is called "Zombies," and it's about zombies. No metaphors, just zombies.

Scapegoat (Tragic Hero Records) "zombies" from Scott Hansen on Vimeo.

Nice dick, dreads-head

You, dear reader, may think zombies are cool, but enough is enough. Once you have zombie Jane Austen, your meme has collapsed. Find something else. Have you heard a conversation earnestly (ironically) discussing the zombie apocalypse lately? If not, give thanks to Zombie Jesus (go fuck myself). Morrissey once said, "that joke makes me want to kill myself if I hear it one more time." While jokes about zombies make me want to kill myself because they are already boring me to death, Scapegoat makes me want to kill myself because I don't want to live in a world where they exist. It's like if Brokencyde went metal and traded Auto-Tune for eight hundred layers of irritating New Found Glory vocals, but kept all the repugnant screeching. It even goes on for two minutes longer than you expect/has any reason to, just like Brokencyde. In the words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, "holy fucking shit, my eardrums are spraying a mixture of spinal fluid and liquid feces in rebellion against me for subjecting them to this. I'm actually shooting shit out of my ears because this music is so fucking bad. This sucks."

(FDR said that when he listened to The Baxter County All-Star Jug Revue play the song "Ninjas")


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