Monday, June 8, 2009

Fake Band Names

Today, while cleaning my room, I found some old papers, and one of them was a list of fake band names that my friends Dave and Riley made up. If I remember correctly, they came up with them while high during an SAT prep class. Now, everyone has a list of fake band names they think are hilarious (mine are School Bus, School Bus Disaster, the Cool Dads, Admiral Dad & the Admirable Dads, and Shep Smith & the Vengeance), but these go above and beyond the average fake band names. They are incredible feats of free association and nonlinear thought. The LOL per word ratio on these is about 1:1. At least, I think so. They may be too inside-jokey and arbitrary for anyone else to get, but what you need to understand while reading these is that there is nothing to get. The joke here is simply in the names themselves. So, without further ado, I give you the roster of my fake record label (My favorites in bold):

"Mustard, Bitch"
"Tater Clumps"
"Binky Mumps"
"Dick Musk"
"I Can Smell Doug's Dick Musk From Here"
"Snarler Booty"
"Frankie Muniz and his Ding Flingers*"
"Soda Poop"
"Fink Sprinkles"
"I'm So Sorry, Doug"
"No Dumpling"
"Black Stump"
"Sack Happy"
"Flute Nuts"
"Birch Lodge Fucknips"
"Spank Jesus"
"Backseat Bangers"

For a list of real band names that will make you laugh for weeks, check out the AV Club's 2007 roundup of the year's worst band names. I read this list every few months when I'm bored, and it makes me crack up every time. Highlights include "The House That Gloria Vanderbilt," "Shoot For the Stars...And Kill Them," and "Happy Mother's Day, I Can't Read."

This band is on that list:

Batman vs. Predator - 20BUX

*This is a reference to the band Frankie and his Fingers.

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